Farewell? Not necessarily..

Three years and a month ago, I traveled from Marseille to Antwerp. I still remember how much I cried in the train. Even the ticket inspector tried to console me with his terrible English. How time flies! Now I am moving back to France. But this time, I know I won't cry. Farewell is for the city, but friendship stays.

Being a transient expat, who moves on every two or three years, I often bump into people I met half way across the globe, and I think I am already getting use to it. Although it is always sad when somebody moves on including myself. Goodbyes are hard, but a trunkful of memoirs will be with you all your life.

Farewell? Not necessarily...until we meet again.

Today I checked out from the apartment I stayed for the last three years. When the agency put a tag on everything he examined, I know that was it - the time to say goodbye. Still I cannot stop being sentimental at this very moment.

One of my friends wrote something really touching on facebook two years ago when he left Antwerp, one sentence I always remember was "I will miss the penguin-like jewish kids and their penguin-like mother in Harmonepark". It is just one of things he listed about multicultural landscape of this city. For sure, I will miss it also. This multicultural community just makes this city so enjoyable for the expat. Wherever I am going for the next, it won't be the same.

I will miss the most is my friends here, who are like my families. But if I never made effort to make friends all the same when I moved here even I knew I won't stay for long, there would never be a close bond between us. It is definitely worth forming these close bonds. My life is richer because of my friendships with them. I believe I will meet the same nice people as people I love in Antwerp, and it will be the same sad when they move on or me. The intensity of the friendship lessens over the miles and years, but the memories don't. And if by chance we happen to bump into one another again in anywhere on this planet, we will just pick up where we left off. A few more grey hairs, a few more hard-earned life lines, a lot of experiences that we have to share before one of us moves off again. World is small and this could happen easily, I believe.

By coincidence, two days ago I went to the cinema watching "dawn of planet of apes", when the photo of James Franco and chimp Cesar was showed on the big screen, "rise of planet of apes" was the first movie I watched with a group of friends three years ago when I just moved to Antwerp. In the blink of an eye, even the sequel has been already out.

Now here I am, I came I go. And see you soon. But no farewell.

To live each day as your last---2013 in review

It is going to be a ritual for me to do this kind of annual review, which gives me a chance to retrospect the past and prospect the future, or just simply a summary of a yearly life.

My 2013 was calm, nothing special happened. I still clearly remember the family dinner for the new year in China, but suddenly we are already in 2014. My feeling totally confirmed the adage "the older you are the faster time goes". The problem is that, as time marches on, life may become more routine, more mundane. Hence, you create fewer memory bumps, which give you the feeling that time is moving very quickly.

What could I do to slow down the time?

In my opinion, the secret medicine is that to live each day as your last. Everyday is a new day and an opportunity for one more day to make a difference, no more routines, no more mundaneness.

I eagerly need something like a big millstone happening in 2014. Nothing would never happen voluntarily,  so I must work hard on it not using the excuse “I can do that later” or “I can quit doing this later”. 

"To live each day as your last" was the title which I put in the blogger editing in October after watching the movie "rush". Actually it is the quote from the main character James Hunt. It was a beautiful movie, which described the most sparkling moment of James' life. There were so many things I was thinking of after the movies. But as my procrastination way, I put the beginning, and never got the chance to finish it. And now I use it for another blog, but this time I push myself to finish it. So the first thing I should quit is my procrastination.

Well back to the topic, 2013 in review.

It was the coldest and longest winter in my life, till almost May, which was also the most miserable time (I am pretty sure it was) as well. I was confused about my personal life and stuck to the idea of finding a new job without actions. All I can see now of that period is blurred and grey. 

Finally in May, I felt that I could not keep going on like that. I started to do my job hunting and look for changes. In June, for my birthday I was at Roland Garros. It was an amazing experience. Since Roland Garros has an almost fixed date every year. I feel the urge to come there for my birthday hereafter. 

In summer, I started to get a lot of rejections and few interviews, mixture feeling of the future. I went to Puglia with my "Antwerp family", which gave me a good opportunity to stay away from my tiring routine life. After that, I had a period of anxious waiting for the result of interviews. And I went to Hallstatt for another break, which was the only solo trip I made in 2013. Hallstatt is such a nice town, cute as a fairytale place. At the end, I got offers but I didn't accept them because of different reasons. The first circle seemed end up with dissatisfaction. 

I restarted to become lazy after all those disappointments. At the end of year, I went to Malta and mediated a lot about what I wanted to do for the next. 

Now, I am sitting in the cafe and feel excited about what will be happening in 2014. 

Attitude is everything. Without an effort, nothing will happen. Life can be short, but cannot be full of regrets. 

I am quite discontented about what I just wrote, and I feel like I don't know how to write anymore. But at least I am keeping writing. 

To live each day as your last.