What is your strength..or talent?

I have stayed in academia bubbles for very long time. So when I was starting my job hunting in the late 2010, I realized there were so many interesting companies I have never heard about it. One of them was Gallup. When I focused on my research topic in behaviour economics, the nobel prize winner Daniel Kahneman was my "mentor". I was amazed by all his theory and experiments. His "prospect theory " was actually the guidance of my master thesis. And I found out that he is the senior scientist in Gallup. I could have chance to meet him and even work with him without staying in academia bubbles anymore, and then I applied the job there. But as you all know, I didn't get the job. Kahneman is still far away from me. That's might a too long introduction about Gallup's "strengthsfinder".

By coincidence, one of the best thing in my career of the past year was about "strengthsfinder".

Actually, I was even a joke for this survey. As a very hardcore deadline killer, after my organization send the link from Gallup, I never pay attention to do it. And one week before the deadline, my team send an email to ask top 5 strengths. I totally forgot "strengthsfinder" survey. I even talked to my officemate, "my top 5 strengths, and I need to describe myself, isn't it weird". Then I send 5 strengths from my own knowledge of myself to my team. At the end, of course, people were shocked by my answers, because they cannot find those words from Clifton strengths finder. They were wondering where I find my strengths. Two days later, my organization send another reminder to finish "strengthsfinder", I finally realized that what I send was completely wrong, but it was already too late.

But I used one of my strength from Gallup's survey to describe myself -- that is adaptability, which I consider as my real talent. That only one word made my colleagues think I was making fun of them.  And, what Gallup found for me in order  is "arranger, adaptability, maximizer, empathy and input". I could see myself into these five strengths very well. How amazing!

As everything has sunshine part, also shadow part. Strength could become weakness as well. My top two actually are very similar at least from what Gallup describes -- flexible. On the other hand, you could say directionless, indecisive, constantly changes priorities. It depends on which angle you look through.

Yesterday I finally got my whole profile. Apart from my top 5, I have chance to know my least 5 in order -- "analytical, competition, restorative, discipline, significance". To be honest, I am not afraid to expose my weakness. Especially as a evader, I could always avoid them.

However, I still feel frustrated when thinking about my job now. As a researcher, I lack of discipline and analytical. Isn't it a catastrophe? The only attribution leading to a good researcher in my profile is probably input. But collection and archive of information sound like generalist, and all researchers are specialists.

So what could I do to fit in my job? or easily change to another job where I could maximizer my strengths? or just complement myself by coordinate with the others?

Something for the one year anniversary in Belgium

How time flies, almost a year. If my friend didn't put a long farewell note on facebook, i didn't even think about it is almost a year. One week later, it is my one year anniversary in Belgium.

 I still remember the day when I was leaving Marseille. I cried almost an hour on the train. My friend who went to the train station was calling me after she saw me crying, but I just cannot speak a word and sobbed sadly. I do believe I hadn't cried so badly for at least two years. All loves, repugnance, emotions and hatred just came out when the train was starting to move. Tears were my best way of catharsis.

I love what I have done in Marseille, but I know that was the best moment I should leave. Most of my friends left or were about to leave that town, I suxed in relationship with my boss and my personal life, I was fed up by French bureaucracy and language itself, i was tired of chaos and unsafety, and i was like a french complaining about my "miserable" life. And then Belgium?

I never thought about I would end up in Belgium, and I even didn't know anything about Antwerp before I moved here. However life is following the flow. We don't need to think about it.

Nothing is perfect, so is Antwerp as well. But right now I appreciate what it is at present.

For the last almost 365 days, the most important thing I have learned was "let it go" - forgive so you can be forgiven. I used to linger on things for quite long time till making things certain. Now I know it is useless effort why not just "let it go". Life is full of burden, it doesn't matter to drop some packages. Well, I am still learning it. To really do it is not that easy. But I am trying.

I don't want to be sentimental. Sometimes I just really have good memories. A year...