What is the meaning of marriage?

Today my old friend would get married with his girlfriend. Fortunately, they finally walk together after a more than 7 year courtship. I can not attendant their wedding, but I would wish them live happily.

Now it is sunshine outside, but I fell cold inside. I read the weather report of Wuhan where it is rainy. I wish his wedding goes well not interrupted by this unwished rain.

Marriage, is a topic to talk at our generation these 2 years. Our generation seemed to struggle with the commitment. I still remember 2 years before I took my female friend’s wedding. Their two stand before people and received their greeting. Now they divorced, and they even take their own partner to meet together to have a dinner. It seems that I am just that person who feel mild surprise.

Maybe we are all too selfish.

Morrie told us people can not get married if they do not respect each other, if they do not know how to compromise if they can not talk openly what goes on between them and if they do not have a common set of values in life. It seems we could find a lot of people who satisfy these definitions, but it still hard for us to find a partner who could get married.

Every step is like a exploration, and we would never know what will happen next. I am just sitting here to give them my best wishes.

How to escape from choosing?

We could live without lover, we could live without friends, we could live without a lot of things, but we could not escape from choosing. Every year, every month, every day and even every minute we must make decisions. Leisure or working, job or degree, freedom or marriage, perish or survivor, angel or devil, this guy or that guy……

If there is no choice in the world, maybe we could live simply and without so many questions. But we would never live in that unreal world; we still struggle against choosing in this real world.

Now I must make a decision, nobody could help me. God might miss my address and forget to send me something like……

Let me go back to do my research in decision-making policy.

Draw Strength From Sources

Yesterday I was nearly knocked down by motorbike, and a guy pulled me. But I think if he did not do that, I would never be knocked.

At that time, I was thinking my mum and my future, and I had never noticed I was just out of road. He found I was crying, and felt very anxious about me. I can not believe I told everything to a stranger and I kept crying before him. I have never thought I was so weak.

My good teacher Julia told me “Accepting sympathy, love and comfort from others does not mean that you are weak”. I hope she do not say this just want to make me more comfort. But I truly found that we all need the strength of others when we are down. Now I need to draw strength from sources I did not before. Although I am still afraid of my own feelings, I think it is natural. We are all human beings, and I do not want my heart to grow hard. Meanwhile, my heart is really really broken.

I remembered some sentences in “Tuesday with Morrie”, we live because we have truly learn know how to die. I have never walked so close to die.

I must understand that one important thing is that I must live healthily for my family not just for myself. Then next time I would take care myself, do not worry my friends.

I could be the one!

Previously, mum is everything for me. When I was happy, she could let me much happier; when I was sad, she would relieve it; when I was sick, she would pass me a cup of hot tea; whenever I made decisions, she would support me without hesitation. She could be everything I need, but I have never appreciated all these things. I always think that all these are natural. How late of my perception!

Last week, when I got the message that mum suffered leukemia, it really beat me suddenly. I tried to hold my tears, but it was no useful. I kept crying more than 2 days, and then I know tear is useless. Now everything reverses, I must be strong and give confidence and courage to mum. Yes, now I could be everything for you.

I really love you, my mum!


I Could Be The One

I could be your sea of sand
I could be your warmth of desire
I could be your prayer of hope
I could be your gift to everyday

I could be your tide of heaven
I could be a hint of what’s to come
I could be ordinary
I could be the one

I could be your blue eyed angel
I could be the storm before the calm
I could be your secret pleasure
I could be your well wishing well
I could be your breath of life
I could be your European dream
I could be ordinary
I could be the one

Now I would lie here in the darkness
Now I would lie here for all time
Now I would lie here watching over you
Comfort you
Sing to you

I could be your worry partner
I could be your socialite
I could be your green eyed monster
I could be your force of light
I could be your temple garden
I could be your tender hearted child
I could be ordinary
I could be the one

Now I would lie here in the darkness
Now I would lie here for all time
Now I would lie here watching over you
Comfort you
Sing to you

Will I ever change the journey
Will the hushed tones disappear
Oh little Rita
Let me hold you
Oh little Rita
Let me love you

I could be your leafy island
I could be your thunder in the clouds
I could be your dark enclosure
I could be your romantic soul
I could be your small beginning
I could be your suit in universe
I could be ordinary
I could be the one

I could be ordinary
I could be the one

I could be ordinary
I could be the one